To-day

Don’t you just hate it when you’re thinking so hard to remember what you did the other day and you can’t, especially since you’ve told yourself that you’re going to remember some particular incident from that time… I’m a complete blank for some reason, can’t remember what I wanted to say. No matter how hard I try…

Told my parents that I’m really going to give the exams next year. Said the same thing this year and chickened out at the last minute. If it’s one fear that I have it’s about giving exams. I don’t know since when I’ve got it. I think it was my dad’s doing. He was never happy with what I got, always saying that this was where I needed to improve in, or that.

And that’s what sort of created a wedge between us. Started when I was in School. Dropped out at the age of 16 figuring that education was something I could do without, that I didn’t need to sit in a classroom with students in order to learn something. How wrong I was, because you don’t go to school or college just to learn bookish knowledge.

There’s a hell of a lot else that you get to learn from there, and it’s all that that I didn’t get to learn by not being there. My social skills are pathetic, and that’s something that’s really taken a beating in my case. The way to behave with people, and how and what sort of interactions you should have with people.

Zilch. Totally, completely. I hope I can dig myself out of this grave that I’ve created. And help myself out fast. It’s already been 15 years since my tenth class, and the last exam that I gave. 15 years, seems like eons ago.